


eunhae | the everglow

by plincess_cho (ai_hao)



Category: Super Junior
Genre: EunHae, Flangst?, Fluff, Gen, non-au, perhaps?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:46:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26097334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ai_hao/pseuds/plincess_cho
Summary: To Hyukjae, nobody shines quite as brightly as Donghae.
Relationships: Lee Donghae/Lee Hyukjae | Eunhyuk
Comments: 20
Kudos: 47





	eunhae | the everglow

**Author's Note:**

> The fic title is taken from the song ["The Everglow"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6c2PvfAydU) by Mae.

It’s dark in Hyukjae’s room. His television and computer sit dormant, and even his phone is quiet and dim. The curtains are drawn tightly, preventing any light from creeping in from the city outside. He often finds comfort in the glittering lights of the Seoul skyline, but not tonight. Tonight, it’s a reminder of the life that has been ripped from him by this  _ fucking _ virus.

Hyukjae lies on his bed, hands folding over his stomach like he’s ready to be sealed into a sarcophagus. The dorm is quiet. Kyuhyun, he assumes, is off filming from the millionth day in a row, and Yongsun must be out with him. Despite living together, he barely sees them. Their new dorm is huge, and it’s easy to miss each other. Not that Kyuhyun is ever home anyways. Despite this pandemic, his roommate is still busy beyond belief: variety shows, musical practices, and even recording for some singles. He’d been working like a madman ever since his discharge from his mandatory service, and the pandemic had only slowed his overseas schedules. Kyuhyun has plenty to keep himself busy.

Hyukjae, on the other hand, does not.

All of the tours for the foreseeable future had been cancelled, so not only does he have nothing to do for Super Junior, but he also has no calls for other groups. The TF Boys had asked him to come back and direct another tour for them, but the second the entire country of China had locked down, Hyukjae had known that wasn’t going to happen this year. They hadn’t gotten to finish their own tour either, and all of Hyukjae and Donghee’s great plans for Super Show 8 Encore had been for naught. 

This fucking pandemic really had ruined all of his plans, hadn’t it?

Some days, he’s fine. He’ll wake up, work out, let Kyuhyun make him lunch, and then spend the afternoon meeting up with friends or family. He’ll watch a show or two at night and order delivery, and then he’ll go to bed at the very sensible hour of eleven o’clock, fast asleep before Kyuhyun and Yongsun even return home.

It’s nice, he thinks, having a chance to slow down a little bit. It feels like his army days in some ways, without the drills and uniforms of course. Sure, he had still felt like a celebrity in the army, but it had been the closest he had felt to being a normal citizen in a long time. 

He’s glad he’d moved back in with Kyuhyun. If he had been living by himself, completely isolated from any other signs of life, he would have gone insane already. He likes spending time by himself, sure, but there’s a limit to how many hours he can spend alone with his thoughts.

Plus, Kyuhyun cooks, Kyuhyun makes him laugh, and Kyuhyun reminds him that life will return to normal  _ someday _ . Kyuhyun, never the optimist, has been surprisingly upbeat throughout all of this, and Hyukjae likes letting Kyuhyun’s radiance rub off on him. Kyuhyun will come bother him every so often, reminding him that life still goes on despite the haunting gloom of despair that seems to blanket the entire world.

The haunting gloom of despair that seems to blanket  _ him. _

He’ll sit in his room and stare at the wall for hours, completely disassociating from the rest of the world. Kyuhyun will come in sometimes and stare at him quizzically before offering him a dish of whatever he’s cooked that day. Sometimes it helps, and sometimes Hyukjae wordlessly waves Kyuhyun away and goes back to wallowing.

Those are the days where he doesn’t leave the house or sometimes even his room. The entire day will go by without him doing a thing or saying a word to everyone, and then he’ll wonder how he’d come to waste his life in such a way. He’s an  _ idol _ for crying out loud. Shouldn’t he be living a great and wonderful life, even in these weird times?

He misses the days when they all shined brightly, like vibrant stars in the night sky. Super Junior used to run through life without growing weary, buoyed by their ambitions and hopes for the future. They thought they’d never burn out, never in a million years. Especially after the global success of  _ Sorry, Sorry. _ Hyukjae had never felt so invincible.

But they have so few group schedules these days, and even those group schedules only involve a handful of their total number. At last they had finally become the rotational group that they had always been meant to be, and Hyukjae feels the anxieties about the future that he had felt as a rookie idol.  _ Will they make it? _

He wants so desperately to say yes, to say that they’ll burn more brightly than anyone else ever has, shining brighter than the sun itself. He wants to believe that their future is bright, that his future is bright, and that all of this is just a little cloud passing by before it burns off in the noon heat.

But as he sits in his dark and quiet room, there’s a little voice in the back of his head voicing the fears Hyukjae had never wanted to say out loud.

He breathes in, he breathes out, and the stillness of the room seems to taunt him in return.

And then, the doorbell chimes, ringing through the dormitory like the sound of a ship coming to save the castaway stranded in the stormy sea. Hyukjae wonders who would be calling at this hour and immediately braces himself for an uncomfortable encounter with someone not meant to find their residence. He checks to ensure he’s decent before padding over to the door and peering through the peephole.

_ Lee Donghae. _

Hyukjae breathes an audible sigh of relief that seems to echo off the walls of the entryway. He pulls the door open and says, “Surprised you didn’t let yourself in.”

Donghae shrugs. “Didn’t have your new passcode.”

“Oh.”

That’s right, Hyukjae realizes. He’d decided to move in with Kyuhyun on a whim, giving up his apartment in Donghae’s building with little notice. Donghae hadn’t noticed for quite some time. He’d been flying back and forth from Korea to the States almost every month it seemed, and his impromptu visits to barge into Hyukjae’s home had grown more and more infrequent over the past months.

And Hyukjae, despite himself, had missed those intrusions more than he had cared to admit.

They stand awkwardly in the entryway, Donghae holding a plastic bag of what Hyukjae assumes to be takeaway from a nearby restaurant and Hyukjae standing there in his pajamas looking rather pathetic.

“I brought dinner,” Donghae says.

“It’s eleven at night,” Hyukjae replies.

“Okay so it’s a midnight snack,” Donghae says. He slips out of his shoes and looks around for a pair of slippers. Hyukjae pulls a set out of the pile for Donghae to slide his feet into.

They walk into the dining room, and Donghae sets the bag down on the table. Hyukjae dutifully gets out plates and two sets of cutlery.

“I thought you said you weren’t hungry,” Donghae says.

“I said it was late, I didn’t say I wasn’t hungry.”

They spread out the bag’s contents on the table. It’s simple food from one of their favorite Chinese restaurants down the street, and the two of them start to eat. It’s only after the food is half gone that Hyukjae asks, “So… what are you doing here?”

Donghae shrugs. “I missed you,” he says. His words are simple and honest, the way Donghae always has been. Hyukjae had always liked that about Donghae, that he had never been afraid to come out and say whatever he was thinking or feeling. There was never any pretense, never any bullshit, just Donghae wearing his heart on his sleeve.

Hyukjae wants to laugh and tell Donghae that he could have just texted him instead of tromping all the way over to his apartment with takeout food during a global health crisis. After all, weren’t they supposed to be “social distancing” or whatever?

He’d asked Donghae that once, during his  [ birthday ](https://youtu.be/WSSlUsS0ZzE?t=1938) event.

_ “Aren’t we supposed to stay two meters apart? You’re too close!” _ he’d squawked.

Donghae hadn’t listened. He’d invaded Hyukjae’s space, hugging him and pressing his masked face right against Hyukjae’s.  _ “Look, we basically already share a germosphere anyways,” _ he’d said afterwards. And he’d been correct. Nobody could forget how the members had passed around colds, coughs, and even an eye infection around the dorms back in the day. 

Ah Lee Donghae. How many colds had Hyukjae gotten from Donghae over the years? Too many to count. 

“And,” Donghae continues, “I’m worried about you.”

In that moment, warmth spreads through Hyukjae’s chest. It’s a feeling he hasn’t felt in a long time, and he realizes that more than anything, he’d missed Donghae too. He’d missed Donghae barging into his apartment at all hours to hang out or watch movies or sleep over. He’d missed touring with Donghae, visiting every city of note in Japan and eating their fill of ramen. He’d missed recording with Donghae, spending long hours in the studio working and laughing and making memories for years to come.

But more than anything, he realizes that he misses the warmth that Donghae brings. Donghae has always been the sun, shining brightly into all aspects of Hyukjae’s life. No one has ever been able to make Hyukjae feel as bright and lively as Donghae does, and perhaps that’s what the pandemic had robbed him of the most: Donghae.

To be worried about, to be cared for, to be  _ loved. _

Hyukjae meets Donghae’s gaze to find Donghae’s eyes filled with concern and care. “I’ll be okay,” he says.

“Are you sure?” Donghae asks.

“Yeah,” Hyukjae says, his voice soft. He wants to say  _ Because you’re here, I always feel safe when I’m with you. Even when we’re away from home for months on end, I always feel like I’m at home with you. _

So many words, always left unspoken. He’d never needed to say them aloud. Donghae just  _ knew _ .

And Donghae knows now as Hyukjae helps him clear the dishes and shows him around the dorm. Donghae knows as they climb onto Hyukjae’s bed and put in a movie. And Donghae knows as Hyukjae pulls him close as they settle in against the pillows, just like old times.

It’s late when the movie finishes, and they’re both half asleep when they hear Kyuhyun and Yongsun returning. The two quickly retreat to their own rooms however, leaving the dorm in a quiet stillness once more.

But now, the silent darkness doesn’t feel crushing as it did before. Donghae is warm against Hyukjae’s side, his breathing even and comforting. 

“You’re staying over, right?” Hyukjae asks, his voice barely louder than a whisper.

“Mmm,” Donghae murmurs. 

“Do you want some pajamas? I think I still have a pair of yours around here somewhere.”

Donghae changes, and the two of them wash up for bed. There’s a pang in Hyukjae’s chest as they both stand in front of the mirror brushing their teeth. They’d had plans to tour this year, and tours always meant waking up together and going to bed together until they were absolutely sick of each other. Yet this feels like a little semblance of everything they had lost this year.

“What?” Donghae asks, his mouth filled with toothpaste.

Hyukjae realizes he’s smiling, and he hurries to spit and rinse before replying. “Reminds me of touring,” he says. 

Donghae nods. “Yeah,” he says. “Feels like old times.”

“Yeah.”

Old times. They’d shared a lot of old times together, half their lives to be precise. There are times where Hyukjae can’t believe they’ve actually been together that long, and sometimes he wonders if they too will burn up like a comet streaking across the darkened sky. If someday their light too will disappear.

But then he’s tucked into bed next to Donghae, with Donghae nestled against his side. Donghae is warm, and Donghae feels more like home than his own room ever has.

“I’ve lost a lot of things this year,” Hyukjae whispers, “but I’m glad that I haven’t lost you.”

“You’ll never lose me,” Donghae replies. “I won’t ever let you go.”

Before long, Hyukjae feels Donghae fall asleep next to him like he had so many times before, but Hyukjae lies awake, still staring at the same ceiling he had been before Donghae’s unexpected arrival. A lot of things have been ruined, and a lot of things in his life are different. He supposes that even without this virus, things would have had to change. That’s the rhythm of life. But there are things that don’t change. 

Donghae will always be the one who shines the brightest in Hyukjae’s life. Donghae is the sun, Hyukjae the moon. The moon radiates the light from the sun, and more than schedules or outings or work, that’s what Hyukjae had been lacking the most since the pandemic started.

Donghae.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are love ♡
> 
> [Twitter](twitter.com/plincess_cho) / [Tumblr](plincess-cho.tumblr.com)
> 
> You can find more Donghae/Hyukjae fics [here.](http://archiveofourown.org/works?utf8=%E2%9C%93&commit=Sort+and+Filter&work_search%5Bsort_column%5D=revised_at&include_work_search%5Brelationship_ids%5D%5B%5D=294461&work_search%5Bother_tag_names%5D=&work_search%5Bexcluded_tag_names%5D=&work_search%5Bcrossover%5D=&work_search%5Bcomplete%5D=&work_search%5Bwords_from%5D=&work_search%5Bwords_to%5D=&work_search%5Bdate_from%5D=&work_search%5Bdate_to%5D=&work_search%5Bquery%5D=&work_search%5Blanguage_id%5D=&user_id=ai_hao)
> 
> Cross posted to AFF.


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